And yet

Rage. Pain. Red. Hurting. Bloodthirsty. Mad.
Woman. Bitch. Slut. Whore. Liar. Lover.
Sunshine radiant beautiful flower child of the universe.
Cage. Trap. Death. Man. Me. I. Weak.
Helpless. Pawn. Slave. Owned.
Slayed by love.
Love. the she-devil bitch-whore pit viper.
Love. I hate you.
Love is the Enemy.
Love lets you down.
Love makes you blind.
Love is pain.

Leaves turn brown. snow comes. world is frozen.
darkness descends upon me.
my heart is cold. my love is dying. my blood turns blue.
i scream in silence with bloodshot eyes.
For a woman.
all for a fucking woman.

i love her and i hate her in the same heartbeat.
love and hate do a dance of death upon my bones.
hot then cold then hot then cold
round and round
as the organ grinder spins faster and faster
and the monkey bangs his cymbals
and laughs in my face.

she was sweetness personified.
light radiated from her brow, fair,
like Artemis on a new spring morning
as Apollo arose to bless the day
with his warm embrace.

she was a cool clear lake on a summer day,
where the muses sang in the sparkling light
and tender breeze.

she was a laughing brook
flowing gaily down mount Olympus,
to feed the tender fawns at dusk.

she was a newborn shoot of lemongrass,
reaching up
to kiss the sky.

she was a songbird singing sweetly
in the early morning
to all who could hear.

i heard. i looked. i felt her life giving essence.
i saw the gods swimming joyfully in her eyes.
those eyes.
they pierced my soul when she smiled.
they broke the foundations of the world when she cried.
those eyes.

she looks at me now with contempt.
she toys with my heart like a cat
who bats an injured mouse out of boredom.

she picks up the icepick,
weighs it in her hand to judge its effectiveness,
and plunges it deep into my heart
with a Cheshire cat smile.
she betrays me with a kiss.

and yet.