And yet

Rage. Pain. Red. Hurting. Bloodthirsty. Mad.
Woman. Bitch. Slut. Whore. Liar. Lover.
Sunshine radiant beautiful flower child of the universe.
Cage. Trap. Death. Man. Me. I. Weak.
Helpless. Pawn. Slave. Owned.
Slayed by love.
Love. the she-devil bitch-whore pit viper.
Love. I hate you.
Love is the Enemy.
Love lets you down.
Love makes you blind.
Love is pain.

Leaves turn brown. snow comes. world is frozen.
darkness descends upon me.
my heart is cold. my love is dying. my blood turns blue.
i scream in silence with bloodshot eyes.
For a woman.
all for a fucking woman.

i love her and i hate her in the same heartbeat.
love and hate do a dance of death upon my bones.
hot then cold then hot then cold
round and round
as the organ grinder spins faster and faster
and the monkey bangs his cymbals
and laughs in my face.

she was sweetness personified.
light radiated from her brow, fair,
like Artemis on a new spring morning
as Apollo arose to bless the day
with his warm embrace.

she was a cool clear lake on a summer day,
where the muses sang in the sparkling light
and tender breeze.

she was a laughing brook
flowing gaily down mount Olympus,
to feed the tender fawns at dusk.

she was a newborn shoot of lemongrass,
reaching up
to kiss the sky.

she was a songbird singing sweetly
in the early morning
to all who could hear.

i heard. i looked. i felt her life giving essence.
i saw the gods swimming joyfully in her eyes.
those eyes.
they pierced my soul when she smiled.
they broke the foundations of the world when she cried.
those eyes.

she looks at me now with contempt.
she toys with my heart like a cat
who bats an injured mouse out of boredom.

she picks up the icepick,
weighs it in her hand to judge its effectiveness,
and plunges it deep into my heart
with a Cheshire cat smile.
she betrays me with a kiss.

and yet.

the boy ran like the wind
without a care
with no direction or thought
he ran through the tall grass
the burrs stuck to his legs
and he itched
but still he ran

the flower stood up
straight and tall and shining
her petals opened wide
to catch the sun
she was waiting for him
with hope in her heart

the boy stopped running
he stopped and he looked
at the beauty and the wonder
of the flower before him
he stopped running
and he stayed with her
in the tall grass

she sang to him sweet melodies
that filled his heart with joy
she spoke to him
of her inner secrets
and showed him all her hidden treasures

he poured water over her
to cool her in the heat of the day
and he comforted her by night
together the boy and the flower
loved each other
they were happy

the boy gathered sticks and stones
to build a castle for his flower
he built it tall and wide and strong
he filled it with the treasure of the forest
and all the world marvelled at his creation
he stood and looked at his gift
for his precious love
his dearest heart

and as he turned around to show her
there she lay beneath his feet
crumpled and trodden and broken
she had cried out to him
as he built his castle
but he did not hear
she screamed at him her warning
but his ears were closed

now she lay there broken
her petals scattered in the wind
her tall slender stem ruined
her light had gone out
and the boy wailed
and the boy wept
and the boy tore out his eyes
that he may never look upon
such beauty again

there is a clearing in the grass now
no flower grows there anymore
and some say an old man
visits in the night
and sits under the stars
blind and broken
he waits for her
in vain