do they laugh at him
he wonders
in the darkness
of their bodies
covered with a
blanket of shame
and desecration

do they laugh
or even speak his name
as they writhe
like snakes
tangled together
in knots
like a dolly
pulled out of the
bathtub
her hair left to dry
on the ledge

do they joke and play
silly word games with
deeper meanings
to demonize him
and put him out
of the light
where he was so faithful
and into the fire
where it is easier
to poke and prod
at his burning members

the cuckold takes another
drag of his cigarette
and smashes the wedding photo
on the hardwood floor
where the glass shatters
and gets into everything

he puts on his slippers
the ones she gave him
for father’s day
and he picks up the broom
to sweep up the mess
that she has made

alone again
another night of sitting
the girls are asleep
the air conditioner hums
the wine sits patiently
in my glass

alone again
cars come and go
down the street
a dog barks
music is playing
and people laugh
together

alone again
the lights are off
except a few
to save on electricity
and the laundry
is piled on the floor
but that’s as far
as it gets
tonight

alone again
waiting for the night
to take me
to put me under
to help me forget
all the nights
i have sat here
waiting
for no-one
to come

alone again
with my memories
and my aches
sipping wine
while i stare
at nothing

alone again
why must i be
alone again
all my lovers
have faded away
into the mist
where i cannot
follow
or even find
my way

alone again
and lonely this time
just one conversation
and a whiff of her perfume
would fill my
lonely mind
with a thousand smiles
and i should not be
alone again
for a while

like a little red ruby
my heart burned for you
and for a little while
we burned together
red and hot and real

like a little red ruby
our love gave birth
to children of the stars
burning so brightly
they light our way
in this dark world

like a little red ruby
the fire consumed us
body mind and soul
and we were burned
to the core

like a little red ruby
our hearts turned to stone
and the pain
drove us deep
into the ground
dark and cold
and alone

like a little red ruby
we were discovered
once so lost
in the night
now we shine
in the full light of day

and like a little red ruby
we are free
to shine on
once more

dear Margaret Atwood,

i know you are a busy person with more important things to do
so i am asking this question with the utmost respect for you.

would you be so kind as to read some of my poems located here:

http://thenowhereman-timbateman.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=13

i would love to have some feedback from you
on your thoughts
or criticisms.
i am not published but i have such a love
of the English language
as it allows me to break so many rules
in order to express
the innermost secrets
of my soul.
i am in love with poetry and
if i may say
i really love
your poems

either way
thank you
for your time
regards

TB

and Margaret replies:

Note: For legal reasons, Ms. Atwood does not read ANY unpublished material. Please do not forward any unpublished work to any of the above addresses.

so i protest
i did not know
that poetry
had a hierarchy
of acceptance :(


and Margaret replies:

Oh yes it does. Indeed in
this realm, I am the Master and
you are the slave. Go and do
your bidding, the way I did
at the age of sixteen, I think, when
gazing at the mirror with the candle
light beside me, I looked into my own
eyes. There behold, is my perfect soul.

so i look Margaret Atwood
in the eye
and i say
the only thing
that i think
would be appropriate
for the occasion

yes ma’am.

i am just a man
i did what i thought
was right
i tried my best
my intentions were
good
all i ever wanted
was for you
to be happy
at the end
of this lonely world
you were the one
i gave
my heart to
in every dream
i had
you were there
shining in the sun
smiling with joy
laughing like
a child
looking straight
into my eyes

good bye my love
so long my heart
fare well
my everything
please know
i never wanted
this

i sink to the bottom
holding on
to my breath
until my lungs
are on fire
and my brain
screams stop!

and the hand
comes down from above
it grabs my hair
and pulls me up
to the shore
of second chances
and third times
around

there you are
with the sun
in your hair
speaking to me
with bright eyes
shining with life
as i gasp
and i choke
on my selfishness
and all my pride

you speak
and your voice
breaths life
into these brittle bones
you laugh
and your smile
fills me with hope


you hold me
so tight
and your arms
surround me
like a blanket
healing me
and setting me free
from the water
that pulls me down
into the darkness

i lay on the beach
gasping for air
breathing you in
and you are real
and you are there
and in an instant
you are gone

i lay alone
on the beach
with your lips
still lingering on mine
and i can smell you
like tulips
you fill my brain
with a new idea

the water cannot
pull me down
anymore

now
i can swim

free
i am free
i stand at the crossroads
my choices are before me
free

free to remember
your face in my mind
see you smiling
so brightly
with hope in your eyes
and the promise
of a new day
in the land
of lovers
lost in blue

free to scream
at the stars
all my pain
all my fears
all my failures
all my everything
and the tears
run down my face
every drop
an ode
to the death
of my heart

free to close the door
and smash my head
against the wall
to kill the memories
of the things i did
and the things i did not do

free to take a step
towards the future
with nothing but
a blindfold
and my frail faith
in the promises
of the universe

free to wander
the dessert
thirsty and dry
for forty long years
in exile

free to hold on
to the stone
around my neck
and dive
into the ocean
of uncertainty

free to stand
frozen forever
gazing at the horizon
of the unattainable you
so far from me and foreign
are your eyes
when you dare to look
upon the object
of your retribution

free to sit and wonder
where your heart
has wandered
on nights like this
when the wolves
surround me

free to kneel
and pray
to the full moon
have mercy
on this suffering
mind

free to breath
to drink in the air
and fill my lungs
with truth
wisdom
and grace

free to lay down
in the green grass
gaze up at the blue sky
see the yellow sun
and laugh at it all

free
i stand at the crossroads
my choices are before me
i am free
free