dear Margaret Atwood,

i know you are a busy person with more important things to do
so i am asking this question with the utmost respect for you.

would you be so kind as to read some of my poems located here:

http://thenowhereman-timbateman.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2011-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2012-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=13

i would love to have some feedback from you
on your thoughts
or criticisms.
i am not published but i have such a love
of the English language
as it allows me to break so many rules
in order to express
the innermost secrets
of my soul.
i am in love with poetry and
if i may say
i really love
your poems

either way
thank you
for your time
regards

TB

and Margaret replies:

Note: For legal reasons, Ms. Atwood does not read ANY unpublished material. Please do not forward any unpublished work to any of the above addresses.

so i protest
i did not know
that poetry
had a hierarchy
of acceptance :(


and Margaret replies:

Oh yes it does. Indeed in
this realm, I am the Master and
you are the slave. Go and do
your bidding, the way I did
at the age of sixteen, I think, when
gazing at the mirror with the candle
light beside me, I looked into my own
eyes. There behold, is my perfect soul.

so i look Margaret Atwood
in the eye
and i say
the only thing
that i think
would be appropriate
for the occasion

yes ma’am.

i am just a man
i did what i thought
was right
i tried my best
my intentions were
good
all i ever wanted
was for you
to be happy
at the end
of this lonely world
you were the one
i gave
my heart to
in every dream
i had
you were there
shining in the sun
smiling with joy
laughing like
a child
looking straight
into my eyes

good bye my love
so long my heart
fare well
my everything
please know
i never wanted
this

i sink to the bottom
holding on
to my breath
until my lungs
are on fire
and my brain
screams stop!

and the hand
comes down from above
it grabs my hair
and pulls me up
to the shore
of second chances
and third times
around

there you are
with the sun
in your hair
speaking to me
with bright eyes
shining with life
as i gasp
and i choke
on my selfishness
and all my pride

you speak
and your voice
breaths life
into these brittle bones
you laugh
and your smile
fills me with hope


you hold me
so tight
and your arms
surround me
like a blanket
healing me
and setting me free
from the water
that pulls me down
into the darkness

i lay on the beach
gasping for air
breathing you in
and you are real
and you are there
and in an instant
you are gone

i lay alone
on the beach
with your lips
still lingering on mine
and i can smell you
like tulips
you fill my brain
with a new idea

the water cannot
pull me down
anymore

now
i can swim

free
i am free
i stand at the crossroads
my choices are before me
free

free to remember
your face in my mind
see you smiling
so brightly
with hope in your eyes
and the promise
of a new day
in the land
of lovers
lost in blue

free to scream
at the stars
all my pain
all my fears
all my failures
all my everything
and the tears
run down my face
every drop
an ode
to the death
of my heart

free to close the door
and smash my head
against the wall
to kill the memories
of the things i did
and the things i did not do

free to take a step
towards the future
with nothing but
a blindfold
and my frail faith
in the promises
of the universe

free to wander
the dessert
thirsty and dry
for forty long years
in exile

free to hold on
to the stone
around my neck
and dive
into the ocean
of uncertainty

free to stand
frozen forever
gazing at the horizon
of the unattainable you
so far from me and foreign
are your eyes
when you dare to look
upon the object
of your retribution

free to sit and wonder
where your heart
has wandered
on nights like this
when the wolves
surround me

free to kneel
and pray
to the full moon
have mercy
on this suffering
mind

free to breath
to drink in the air
and fill my lungs
with truth
wisdom
and grace

free to lay down
in the green grass
gaze up at the blue sky
see the yellow sun
and laugh at it all

free
i stand at the crossroads
my choices are before me
i am free
free

i got my fill
i drank it all up
i got me a cup full
of pity
i got me a bucket full
of loathing
i stuck my head
in the lake
of despair
and drank that sucker
dry
i drown
in an ocean
of tears
and i sink
to the bottom
of my all my faults
only she
can save me
now

shine
in my head
you are alive
vapor
in my arms
you are smoke
void
in my space
you are absent
vanished
from my life
you are gone
make love
to a memory
i cannot

the penny lies in the dirt
dull and dented
nobody picks it up
nobody notices
i notice
only because
of our similar
circumstance
and my need
to relate
to others